Marc's Reflection on Aikido & True Play

I have the great fortune to know three wise people, each of whom have been exploring the ontological basis of human experience continuously for more than thirty years.

Their starting points have been different. One–the mind. Another–the limbic system and emotions. And one–the body. And then there is me. Like many of you I have been curious about my lived experience, always surprised by deeper and deeper insights. My curiosity has been guided by coherence or fitness. I have not been unduly attracted to any particular answer, nor any particular place of safety or comfort. I have intuitively trusted my sense of coherence, or more accurately my sense of incoherence. I, like you, feel when things don’t fit together. I pay attention to this. I find it the most interesting of sensations. Of course the other side of the experience is that occasionally big chunks of experience suddenly fit together and THAT feeling is very nice—the eureka moments.

I just spent five days with these gentlemen. What an experience! Some new coherence showed up for me. I will share it with you.

Each of these gentlemen have taken on very difficult explorations. Bob has accepted a big challenge as he observes human thought processes and their outputs in an effort to make sense of thinking. The processes and the outputs are huge and complex. It is like walking around a large botanical garden. How does one begin to make sense of a botanical garden? That is not a rhetorical question.

When Julio began to focus in on the emotional life of humans it may have been slightly simpler than Bob’s challenge, less diverse than the mind, thought, and language of humans; but it is still a pretty complex landscape—maybe like one area of the botanical garden or one genus of plants. Still making sense of this area, understanding it, is challenging.

When Bert chose to focus on the body, in order to understand human ontology he may have chosen a simpler domain—especially if one focuses on it for a life time.

When I listen carefully to each of these explorers, these sense makers, something interesting shows up for me. I sense that there is a natural relationship between the three, that there has been a progression, a phylogenetic progression that may make sense, make coherence, of these related domains of being human: body first, limbic system second, self-aware mind third. Each is likely a fractal flowering from the former. The flowery complex patterns of though, emotion, and body are intricate and complex and difficult to make sense of unless you see the original pattern which has been iterating and “flowering” for eons.

What if the original pattern is the simple two step dance of a single cell (the smallest living body), and this two step dance has led to the next more complex dance and so forth; its simplest flower leading into the development of its most complex flower—or this hypothetical botanical garden of plants and flowers—of moves, emotions, and thoughts.

So here is the idea—cells seem to have two modes that keep them alive and propagating forward. They either 1) open themselves to the environment and grow or they 2) close themselves off from the environment for self-protection until the environment is safer for openness and growth. It is these two fundamental moves that have lead to the flowering of cells into multicellular organisms, which then engage in the same two moves—this rather simple dance of life. As this fractal flowering of life has progressed for billions of years the two moves may have remained the basic pattern behind the development of the limbic system and the amazingly self aware cortex (thinking).

So what? When making any interpretation or hypothesis about what is going on in emotions or thought one can be informed by this possibility. The question which this will now always raise is—how does whatever is being observed create openness and growth OR closure, withdrawal, walling off for self-protection? We may benefit from always noticing the relationship of any emotional response and any flight of though to these two fundamental moves or inclinations.

Put differently, one can profitably always ask: what does openness (care, tenderness, and joy) OR fear have to do with it? One can lose sight of these two steps in the apparent complexity of emotions and though. The body is less convoluted. One can often see the answer to this question. My emerging insight is that one can also almost always see the answer to the question in the emotional experience and in the world of thoughts.

What do you see? What avenues of sensemaking are coherent with this two step dance of life? On in Julio’s quest, what ways of knowing (epistemology) are fit for the future of this planet and how do they connect to this original and ongoing two step way of knowing?

—————————–

There are several thinkers and scientists who have shaped my awareness in this topic and I want to mention two of them: Maturana and Verela’s book The Tree of Knowledge, and Bruce Lipton’s The Biology of Belief.  Of course I am grateful for the life work of Bob, Julio, and Bert and for their generosity in sharing it and making it accessible to many.

I forgive my father
I forgive my self, as a son
I hope he forgave his father
I hope my brother forgives his father

My resentment has colored every relationship for fifty years.
No more.

Precisely

This sentence is liberating for me.

The fact that others want to connect is so different than the story I had been living in.

There is no “doing” in melting
Only letting

No language
Nor self-violence

Mind and muscles attempt to keep the world at bay
Belly (center) accepts the world and moves with it
Even the activity of the mind and muscles is accepted and digested
Mind and muscles strive
Belly digests and rests into living

Live from belly, breath from belly, move from belly, sense from belly

Turn toward sensing
Rest into sensing

Sense my self (muscles, compression, skin, vision, hearing, smell, taste, stance, identity, voice)
Sense my Self (outside in)

In that order

Turn toward, rest into, be with

Sensations

Sensations are the present, period.

Some ever present sensations are:

Gravity
Center
Connection
Effortlessness
Transformation
Precision

Practice noticing and turning toward each sensation of the present

This moment is its sensations. Breath, sense, turn toward, stay with…

Pushing past and turning away are sensations and come from sensations.

Curiosity, I, Peace, Specific, AND, Universal, Harmony, Thou, Non-violence, Respect, Connection

The embodied meaning of each of the words show up from turning toward, resting into, being with, sensing, letting, opening, porousity

Aikido training develops

Respect in action (non-violence, curiosity, playfulness)

Leaders who do not instill fear

Employees who don’t amplify the fear they find in others

Only under these conditions will curiosity and innovation flourish

This is THE big issue in large organizations

How to support

Safe (fearless) creative organizations

For organizational survival

Curiosity AND non-violence (playfulness)

are the simple rules (actually practices)

for emergence of happier

complex adaptive systems:

Friends

Families

Neighborhoods

Work Organizations

Communities

Cities

States

Nations

World

What is the feeling of innovation?

Letting the outside in

Being the outside

Openness–riskless undefended openness

Relaxation

Smiling, chuckling, even laughing

Together–absent any violence, delicately respectful.

What is the feeling of rigid control?

Where is my observer positioned?

1) Behind my eyes, inside my skin–near the sensory organs and interpreter.

2) From the source of each sensation (rather than from the sensory organs).

I am finding it very easy to shift from my habitual stance, behind my eyes, to the source stance. I can now feel perceptive stance shift back and forth.

The effect is amazing. I feel the rain to be creating me–in some real way I am BEING rained. Not being rained upon but being created in the moment by the experience of raining. There is another feeling–relaxation, less holding away, less need for protection from the “outside”.

Experiencing (sensing) the world from the inside out

or

Experiencing (sensing) the self from the outside (Self) in

And

Experience (sensing) as a practice of turning toward, resting into, nurturing acceptance of what experience (sensation) is present

If dialogue is the art of thinking together, then
Aikido is the art of being and acting together
Without violence or withdrawal

Dialogue is the Aikido of thinking.

Aikido is the art of living together.

Open up
to the future
that wants to emerge
through us.

The challenge
for
each of us
in
our communities

?
,
.
again
and
again
and
again

The emerging future
is the fully aware present,
Particularly where there is a “we”.

Re-Connect sensing with doing
Sense-Feel as you act
Sense into action (this is where we act-sense into-from knowing)
This is true participation.
Do it from a place of gratitude and joy and it is
True Play.

Acting without simultaneous embodied sensing has the effect of a bull in a china shop.

Knowing is a dead end.

Telling is the violent death of relationship.

Respecting individual sovereignty and connecting from there

is the way around this trap.

There is a safe space available.

There is a open space between individual safe spaces in which to connect on any concern.

Clarity on the safe spaces and the open conversational space is essential for generative conversations.

Fear is a signal that one is not moving from a space of safety.

“All” that is required and essential at this moment is to reorganize ones stance.

The perception of fear, the felt sensation, the intuition–is great

It is the beginning of useful insight, knowledge, and action

The fight or flight stories and fantasies that often follow the perception of fear–

are not at all useful.

They lead to a narrow, automatic, awkward response where we push against or run from our needed participants.

When people are stressed they don’t come up with very clever questions or answers.

If you or your work unit are stressed you are significantly under performing, under participating.

Developing personal and team practices to live in complex and chaotic situations without stress is the key to flourishing.

Out of control

Into balance

Openness (permeability, freedom)

AND

(my barriers to solidarity)

The Fences to deal with:

Not wanting to be judged

Not wanting to be controlled

Not wanting to be overwhelmed

Safely and autonomously.

A continuous present.

Tacit sensations–gravity, center, connection, effortlessness, precision, and flow.

Not imagining a life frame-by-frame.

FREEDOM

Autonomy!
Awareness of compression!
Openness!
Feeling, sensing fences and what is behind their construction.

SOLIDARITY

In between
Touch

Moving, grounded, balanced, breathing autonomy (x 2).

Big care (x 2).

Connection (x 2) in between and

Conversation with.

Aware of centered care AND defensive routeines.

With full awareness, turning toward the defense from within the centering autonomous being I am.

If not smiling and laughing

then what

is going on?

Our multiple identities are our embodied care stories and the matching organization that attempts to protect us or that connects us. It is our centered, embodied, sensed care from which our emotions, ideas and actions arise and show up in the world.
With practice we can become familiar with the felt care and then we have real choice.

Until we can bring our care to our center, feel it, relax into it, until we can do this we will be moving from our head, from ideas, from analysis. Moving from our head, will always be late, off center, awkward and visibly inauthentic. More importantly, when can feel our deepest care at our core, at our center, then our physical movement, our emotions and our narratives will all flow authentically.

Of course feeling our care in this way is not available when we are stressed. But once we decrease our stress sufficiently, then we can begin to play with this sensibility. Trying to “do” aikido from our heads is not possible. Aikido is not technique. Aikido happens when we can move from our deepest care.

Fear and Openness?

Openness must come first

because being closed causes real danger which causes fear which…

So commit to openness so there is more flow, more organizations, more capacity and more capability to move with what comes up.

Openness removes the need for much fear.

An act of insight and will (re)creates the chicken or the egg and then joy returns.

To attention

as the goal

for transformation:

Is my body signalling fear?

What does it feel like? Really–where, size, texture, color, temperature, associated images or stories?

Am I open to this? Can I turn toward it?

What does that open turning toward feel like? What happens (how do the sensations change) when I am open and touching them with maximal curiosity and porosity?

The signal that you are not organized for what is at hand.

A good thing.

A choice: reorganize or run.

Usually reorganize!

Become porous–open, sensing, aware, extended, adaptable, flexible

Joyous–surprised, smiling, playful, learning for learning’s sake, in the flow of things (not outside looking in, analyzing progress toward some goal other than pure joy).

Opening

Turning toward

Curiosity

Connection

Touch

Rest

Parasympathetic (literally vagus nerve, heart rate variability)

Digesting

Healing

Growing

Effortless

Safe enough

There are always two choices in each moment

Touch and connect

or

Fight – Separate

The skills are to be aware of the situational differences,

to make the appropriate choice,

to practice touching-connecting-blending when the situation is safe.

Being connected, touching, blending

In the present moment

Displaces assumptions and inferences with

Direct experience and movement

Displaces the violence and illusion of control with

Vulnerability and openness.

Conversations which emerge in this way (dialogue)

Co-invent shared insights

Our mind

and others minds

Receive their direction from our body

Our breathing

Our posture

Our way of moving

Our way of holding against or away

Our gracefulness

It is all out there for everyone (including us) to see

We cannot force our bodies to be graceful

We can only turn toward what is happening

Accept it

And move with it

From center

With breath of the center

With intention of the center

With motion of the center

Listen, without words, to the body

Turn, without words, toward the body

The muscles

The breath

The initiation (inclination) of movement

The felt experience of place, of other, of self, of movement

This is an ever present question

How to take care of one’s self so that being big is the enticing choice?

Pay attention to this inclination.

Don’t force your way toward extension.

Turn toward, take care, rest into the inclination to get small and withdraw.

Anything good comes from the combination of
Moving from our deepest care
With complete respect
for yourself and for others.

Respect is: no pushing, no withdrawing, simply touching and moving together.
Care: what is the most enticing, most life giving, results in the most joy and meaning.

In each present moment
To staying with and moving from my centered care
To not being directed by old and familiar yet violent and unhelpful voices

Feel my care and others care from center(s)
Feel the presence moment from center
Initiate movement (always turning from center toward) from my center, and stay with it (again and again)
Breath from my center
Rest and turn toward from my center
Ascend the stairs, open a door, enter a room, ride my bike from earth to center to others. Every moment is a practice of moving centered connecting. Play with it. Rest into it. The way (Thou-Thou, sameness harmonious) should reduce stress not increase it (I-It, sameness discordant).

Is muscular striving for
Some perfect, preconceived outcome
Falling awkwardly toward the earth
But not toward deep care or shared care

Is awareness
Able to turn and fall gracefully, restfully toward
Anything of interest

Including all the puppeteers

Ask awareness to turn and look behind

Get acquainted with the puppeteers

The feel of his hand
The intention of his soul
His childhood and adolescence
His concerns and fears

Wow,

Getting a feeling for the whole set of muscles, taken together,

Felt and worn like coat

Over my bones

Fighting gravity

Working unnecessarily against my supporting bones

Able to relax at once

A stress coat, taken off and put aside.

Relaxed over supporting bones.

When one finds a way to associate or locate

ones deepest care

with ones physical center of gravity

with the place we breath from and move from

then things begin to shift.

Connection becomes possible

Poise shows up.

With allies and adversaries, when moving with anyone’s care,

we are best when moving from our center and their center.

simply falling toward the earth

Is in the present moment

Connected through one’s deepest care.

I spent last week with total muscular tension and no smiles.

Embodied awareness that

What I wanted most and what I feared the most were precisely the same thing.

Yesterday I had an embodied breakthrough.

My body knows the way forward.

Thank you Sensei Bert Bennett!

Believe it or not,

It was the symmetry of connection that I did not know.

(I hate to say it, but in some very strange and illogical way, I was trying to connect alone.)

How interesting.

When there is symmetric interest in

Connecting (what would connecting be if it were not symmetric–pushing or withdrawing!)

Center simply falling toward the earth

And everything else moving and staying in connection

No technique, no thinking, no effort, no fear, no problem

Just purposeful attentive connecting without specific goals

The very easiest way to be and to move.

Moving from one’s central care.

Connected to ground to center to other’s centers.

Tension melts. Simple, fearless movement displaces it. Over and over.

Very nice!

Turning toward is effortless.
Connection is effortless.
Center is effortless.
Gravity and the experience of gravity (compression) is effortless.
Transformation is effortless.
The present moment is effortless.
Precision and poise are effortless.

Effort (no smile, held breath) is the futile attempt to push against or move away from these facts. Effort is a sign of … Is an opportunity to

Turn toward, care for, envelope, experience my history of avoidance, effortlessly.

Grounded, breathing, with my history, in no hurry, with no judgement

Extend, reach out, in this moment, with my own history generating compassion and wisdom, to what is happening

With a smile

Move from center

Touch

Respecting self, my history, and others

Thou and Thou and Thou

Connection with self and others

Acceptance of self and others

Turing toward disconnection and its childhood, with kindness

Turing toward rejection and its childhood, with kindness

My parents lived isolated I-It lives.
As did their parents.
I believed it was too dangerous to connect.
I choose an independent life, a life of proximity.
Sensing a true connection to be too dangerous.

I am grateful for a day of rest and reflection in the company of Lola, Sofia, and Isabella.
I am grateful for a warm house on a windy rainy northwest winter day.
I am grateful Bill and Judy.

I am awed by the power of science to unfold things.

I am serene whenever I connect with the present moment.

I am close to Sofia and Lola today.

I am hopeful that communities can transform themselves and that RWJF and Rippel Foundation will help make sense of community transformation.

I am joyful when I connect with Lola and Sofia.

I am amused by my own foibles.

I am inspired by Martin Seligman, Barbara Fredrickson, and Jane McGonigal.

I am interested videography as sense making and story telling.

I am proud of our work on personal health records and care coordination tools.

Respectful (shared care) CONNECTION (turning toward/moving with) as embodied, emotional, mindful spirit:

Body => CONNECTION of CARES, with effortless precision, through compression/gravity and center, in the present moment, transforming.

Emotion/Mood => CONNECTION as positive relationship, meaning/CARE, engagement/flow, gratitude, love, awe, hope, inspiration, interest, joy.

Mind/Language => Commitment as CONNECTION through shared CARE.

How would bodyfulness research be conducted?
What are the theories to be tested?

Is syncinicity.
Is knowing/moving through sensing.

My head is informed later. My thoughts are much too slow for participation and therefore too slow for connection and care.

This is fascinating and of profound significance to my life.

The experience of gravity (Compression) is the experience of Presence.
Sensing compression opens me to the experience of present moment
and The Present Moment’s other facts:
Center
Connection
Effortlessness
Transformation and
Precision

is not analysis!

I am grateful for a cold clear Bellingham Saturday.
I am grateful for Isabella’s determination, Sofia’s sensitivity, and Lola’s unbridaled enthusiasm.
I am grateful Richard and Helen.

I am awed by the atmosphere and weather.

I am serene simply by tuning in to my generative relationship with gravity.

I am close to Goran.

I am hopeful applied positive psychology will transform myself, my family, my organization, my community.

I am joyful today. A smile hiding just under my skin.

I am amused by Lola’s antics.

I am inspired by Martin Seligman.

I am interested in my work.

I am proud of my daughters and Nik, Brady, Kris, Lori and Jeannine.

I am grateful for my family, friends and colleagues islacabbbrclnllakpbnpajjccp.
I am grateful for opportunities to make a difference in my community.
I am grateful to be here.

I am awed by the ocean, the night sky, and the cosmos.

I am occasionally serene when walking, when meditating, when connection with another at the dojo.

I am close to Lola, Sofia, and Isabella.

I am hopeful that WAHA will lead toward the Tripple Aim for health in Whatcom County.

I am joyful occasionally at the dojo.

I am amused by my mistakes and misperseptions. Also by humor in books and on-line.

I am inspired by sencere people who are doing their best.

I am interested in my daughters’ daily lives, my work, and the future of games and health.

I am proud of Congral, HiNet, WAHA, the Friday Dojo group, the quality, OD staff and medical group at St. Joes Med Center.

Opportunities and Antidotes?

More thought needed here.

I am looking for paired perspectives and practices.
grateful–resentful
Extended, happy vs. small, hard, hateful
serene–stressed
Big, grounded, relaxed vs. small, free floating, jerky
closeness–distrust
touching, trusting, caring vs. pushing, withdrawing
hopeful–fearful
personal stories are future rather than backward focused
joyful–unhappy
playful, togetherness, playful vs. alone, small, involuting
awe–angry
big (Thou-Thou) vs. small (I-It)
amused–embarrassed
big (we) vs small (you against me)
inspired–humiliated
big (future together) vs. small (you and me against me)
interested–disgust
big vs. small
proud–guilty
big vs. small

Daily, event by event, awareness of blending:

HOW BIG?

1. Very Small–Self as It (Anti-self, anti-play, no smiles, lock down, a prison, closed, hidden, afraid, small, rigid… Frustrating, Shame, Shoving, Fear of failure
2. Small–Self as Thou (relief, release, open, accepting of self and personal history with others, turning toward self, gentle, grounded, movable…
3. Big enough–Other as Thou (Safe, shared care, mobile …)
4. Very Big Thou-Thou (Big curiosity…Love…Playful…)

HOW CALM?

1. Crazy (Uptight, disconnected, small, blind…)
2. Controlled anxiety (Oriented to place and time, narrow focus, short sighted, controlling, fear based…)
3. Shaky attempts at presence (Big enough to be aware of anxiety, awkwardness, breath…)
4. Available from center (Big enough to ground and extend intermittently and partially)
5. Able to move with whom and what comes up in a safe way (Big enough, grounded enough, flexible enough for flow to occur naturally)

HOW CONNECTED?

1. Pushing away (Fear, control, anger, avoidance, unavailable from center, unable to move fluidly)
2. Withdrawing (Fear, control, avoidance, unavailable from center, unable to move fluidly)
3. Touching (Calm enough, trust, safety, shared care, curious, turning toward)
4. Moving as one (Calm, safe, skilled at blending, “falling” into shared space)

HOW EFFECTIVE?

1. Bad for all involved (painful for all and goals not accomplished)
2. Goals accomplished with some dysphoria for all (was able to control this situation but at a cost to all because I was not connected)
3. Goals accomplished with some dysphoria for me (was able to control this situation but at a cost mostly to me because I was not connected)
4. Goals accomplished with happiness (Connected, moving as one, accomplishing shared goals in a playful way—together in shared context)

–Losing self and time in helping the other

without risking self-harm

with safety for both.

Getting emotionally close has always felt very unsafe.

I only recently learned of Aikido, peace and harmony way, a way of  connecting with anyone without risk of harm for either.

One must be trustworthy in order for others to be trusting and in their turn trustworthy.

Aikido requires some serious emotional maturity.

Maybe there are some practices that can be discovered.

What does it feel like when I am unable to find or move from center?

Can I turn toward that?

Is this the ghost who says, don’t dance, don’t trust your feet, don’t trust…

Is this the ghost who says, think first, calculate, protect yourself, don’t look silly, know the answer…

This ghost feels like me. Getting this genie back into the bottle seems daunting…

I can take intellectual and physical risks but not emotional risks!

I simply don’t trust…

I construct my life to require the least trust…

Withholding.

That is I-It.

Is there safety in I-It?

Is that style of safety worth the price?

What is the price?

At the minimum, awkwardness and distance.

Loss of joy, playfulness, spontaneity, touch…

Loss of connection with my daughters.

Loss of effectiveness in community creativity.

The positive emotions that I excel at are those I can do alone, without extension or connection!
This is a useful insight. Growth is on the other side of this insight.

PRACTICES for the week: ( Respect-Touch, Extend-space & care, Play, Smile, Thou-Blending, Effect?)

1. Notice/Experience from shared center (Thou-Thou) in a large space, with physical respect.
2. Settle. Inclusively, not as I-It.
3. Move / flow (without thought or technique) in the shared care (nested care), together, helping the other.
4. Notice effect.

Notes from the dojo:

• Thou is bigger than my present and past selves, bigger than my body, bigger than the present threat or frustration; Thou is the universe and includes me (as Thou) and the other (as Thou). Thou is loving-extension.
• Touch is connection without a hint of force or violence. The joy of connection is possible only when the small self is nurtured and one is able to  expand to Thou-Thou. Accept self, accept other.
• Extension is smiling (aikido is impossible without extension, extension is impossible without respect, respect is impossible without the intention to help the other toward their care–Thouness.) Touch without extension (Thouness) is technique and a subtle form of violence or dishonesty (I-It).
• Extension is living as Thou. Always bigger then the tempest. Present conflict is always moving in a bigger care, never upsetting that bigger care. Extend attention and intention beyond the tempest and conflict to mutual even universal care.
• Play is extension. Play is Thouness. If I am not smiling from center, I am probably not extending nor playing.
• Blending is intention and assistance to help the other. The way is to connect and be (with) the other as I-Thou.
• Respect is attention to the others intention (line) with the desire to help them with their care, with zero violence (pushing or withdrawing). Respect is I-Thou (Thou-Thou).
• From the openness of Thou-Thou, Sense the others intention , that is the beginning of respectfulness.
• Technique is from the head to the body, degrades to chaos in three reps or less
• Aikido (technique-less) is movement from the center–of the situation–in harmony with no force but rather with the strength of extension–Thouness
• True strength is extension with precision (based upon shared care).

Fun loving? Extension!

Joy? Extension!

Awe? Extension!

Gratitude? Extension!

Love, closeness, trust? Extension!

Serene, peaceful? Extension!

How am I choosing to act as though I am so small?

Is such a small thing

Give it no power

Turn toward the small thing

and simply be with it,

like the child it is.

The window to my

way of being in the world

in this moment.

Notice

and turn toward what is pointed to

by my breath

From https://www.positivityratio.com

My answers to these questions over time, determine whether I will flourish or languish. These are outcome measures of Sensei Bert Bennett’s “vertical” and “horizontal“. My practice is to turn toward each as I am experiencing it. Also I am designing my days to include experiences of awe, gratitude, play, closeness and serenity. Playfulness needs attention!

1. What is the most amused, fun-loving, or silly you felt?
2. What is the most angry, irritated, or annoyed you felt?
3. What is the most ashamed, humiliated, or disgraced you felt?
4. What is the most awe, wonder, or amazement you felt?
5. What is the most contemptuous, scornful, or disdainful you felt?
6. What is the most disgust, distaste, or revulsion you felt?
7. What is the most embarrassed, self-conscious, or blushing you felt?
8. What is the most grateful, appreciative, or thankful you felt?
9. What is the most guilty, repentant, or blameworthy you felt?
10. What is the most hate, distrust, or suspicion you felt?
11. What is the most hopeful, optimistic, or encouraged you felt?
12. What is the most inspired, uplifted, or elevated you felt?
13. What is the most interested, alert, or curious you felt?
14. What is the most joyful, glad, or happy you felt?
15. What is the most love, closeness, or trust you felt?
16. What is the most proud, confident, or self-assured you felt?
17. What is the most sad, downhearted, or unhappy you felt?
18. What is the most scared, fearful, or afraid you felt?
19. What is the most serene, content, or peaceful you felt?
20. What is the most stressed, nervous, or overwhelmed you felt?

1. angry
2. humiliated
3. contemptuous
4. disgust
5. embarrassed
6. guilty
7. distrust
8. unhappy
9. fearful
10. stressed
11. awe
12. amused
13. grateful
14. hopeful
15. inspired
16. interested
17. joyful
18. closeness
19. proud
20. serene

I will turn toward the underlined emotions.

1. Feels good–designed for flourishing
2. Broadens–with broader long view more innovation occurs
3. Growth–allows the person to grow over time, a delayed payoff
4. Resilience–social situations go better because there is more openness, choice & flexibility
5. Flourishing–one experiences the world, self, and others in a dramatically different way
6. Personal Capability–increases as joy, sincerity and a light touch become available
7. Synergistic–with goals of health, work, family, spirituality

Care is nonviolent.

Care for violence
Nonviolently

Especially toward myself
Especially in my inner voice

The only asset
is
care

Respect
Care
Sense
Be one with
(Curiosity)

Not at arms length
Not to dispose of
Nor to move beyond
(Analysis)

Turn toward stuckness
Absorb the sensation
Become familiar
Hold that sensation in my arms gently
Care for it
Feel my connection with the earth
Breath
Relax
Holding this baby gently in my arms, in my heart
Wish it no harm
Find gratitude for stuckness
Now hold hands with your friend stuckness
Now walk together
Now breath together
Now move together, brothers, center and center
One

clarity, embodied
as
presence
and
present context

6 Embodied practices, three for recovery, three for innovation

8 Innovation Practices

8 Embodied facts

6 Psychological facts

Whole picture to locate the missing conversations early and often

Bite size innovations

Playfully

Safely

Repeatedly

Fractally

Precisely

THAT IS IT

Joy

Gratitude (care)

Serenity

Interest (curiosity)

Hope

Pride

Amusement

Inspiration

Awe

Love (connection)

Is the source of Gratitude

Precisely:

Sofia, Isabella, Lola

Career in health care: Colleges serving and creating together

Family, including Mico

Friends

Ocean, Sky, Mountains, Rain, Sun, Wind, Warmth, Cold

Walks, talks, rides, paddles, sails

Breathing in this moment

ground each fear

turn toward the place of origin

breath from the center of the fear

stay with the sensations

eyes wide open, in this moment, in this place

breath from care

turn toward care and the source of fear

breath from center

sense ground

extend connect touch

blend

hierarchy has fear structurally built-in

therefore suppresses or kills creativity and innovation

any leader in any hierarchy must take active steps to decrease fear

if creativity is required or desired.

fear is embodied

peace is also embodied

what are your practices of embodied fear?

embodied peace?

HELD
back
away
against

RESISTANCE, TWISTING, EFFORT, STRAINING
against
away

MOVEMENT FLOW TURNING
toward
with
as spirals

CARE
precision
focus
attraction
choice

BEING with
SENSING with
ORGANIZING with

NON-VIOLENCE

HOW OFTEN DO I ATTEMPT TO FEEL SAFE
BY ABANDONING MYSELF
BY ALIGNING WITH OTHERS
IN ORDER TO PLEASE, FOLLOW OR RESIST;

RATHER THAN STANDING ON MY OWN FEET
AND MOVING WITH THE OTHER PERSON(S)?

WHAT ARE THE CLUES
THAT LET ME KNOW
THIS HORIZONTAL RELATING IS HAPPENING?

The first step is to begin to notice how it feels in my body to abandon vertical.

Feel how I look away from myself when I make a horizontal move.

One can feel / sense the risk, the dependence, the off balance, the instability of the relationship in the moment.

Horizontal is Buber’s I–It. Vertical is I–Thou or I–I.

Whenever the other is felt to be more or less than I am–that is a clue.

When they are felt to be less, that is Buber’s I-It.

When I am felt to be less, I am internalizing Buber’s instrumental approach with “myself”.

Kind of an It-It, where no one is being respected, where there is no self respect, only violence.

Whenever I become anxious in the presence of another–that is a clue that I am going horizontal.

Whenever there is judging involved, that is a clue that I have abandoned vertical for horizontal.

Workplace aikido

aikido.seriousplay@work

Always

Breathe

Center

Ground

Move

Only then

Move

Lead with your breath

into  / out from

your center

and move from there.

Holding your breath helps nothing

Stops flow

Prevents balance

Stress is not external

Stress is what I choose to do with my own body

Lowering stress is

owning it

practicing stressless ways of being in the world

in my body

Flowers will not grow

without water

Knowing joins being

In the body

In the world

In this moment

Disembodied knowing is misguiding.

Take care.

Any “knowing” that takes me out of my body,

away from relaxed center,

is miss taken.

Marc, pay attention to this.

Active whole body relaxation

Active  rest

Innovation is the human art of creativity for others

It is non-mechanical.

It is done full-bodied,

a generative, fully human art

Move among people in ways that they feel your support

So they feel safe enough

To innovate (create, “serious play”)

Breathing

and

Moving

From the belly

AT THE SAME TIME

Sleep

brings me back to neutral

Aikido Practices

bring new possibilities

Your choice!

You will engage in simple practices which enable skillful innovation.

These practices enable innovation through connecting with the situations you are in and with others.

The practices are simple and powerful; they support precise, effortless, moment-by-moment innovation through breathing, grounding, and connection.

Situations will be experienced as embodied and responses will become embodied and smooth.

Work will become less stressful and more playful.

You will be happier, as will those around you.

Your mind will have a body to play with–rather than having your mind go it alone, even working against your body.

Joy will show up.

Please come join us.

Precision
Brings the whole together
In this moment

It is not “focus” to the exclusion of the whole

Breathing
Feeling/Sensing
Stretching
Relaxing
Connecting with the ground and any other
Moving
Touching
Turning
Flowing
Attending
Opening
Resting

Moving from center

Breathing out

A sharp sword

A real attack

Placing a stitch

A good kiss

Precisely grounding

Grounding precisely

Precisely centering

Centering precisely

Precisely connecting

Connecting precisely

Precisely effortless (flowing)

Effortlessly (flowingly) precise

Precisely transforming

Transforming precisely

Precisely present (being) in this moment

Present (being) precisely here and now

BLENDING  (Connection)

AS

SPIRALS (Effortless Transforming)

(in the Present Moment)

(with Common Center of Gravity and Balance)

THE WAY OF INNOVATION

Always occuring

Effortless
Transformation
In the present moment
through
Grounded
Centered
Connection

HABITS are more or less automatic routines which are triggered and run without direct attention

PRACTICES are intentional actions which occur in the moment with the full benefit of attention and reflection

AIKIDO is not the replacement of ineffective habits with more effective habits

Aikido is the practice of playful fearless presence, a continual turning toward what is happening

with a mood of gratitude and curiosity and a body tuned to gravity and flow

with a intent to connect and blend rather than push, withdraw, or control.

ASSERTIONS   (facts)
CARE   (human choice)
ASSESSMENTS  (opinions from care and partial awareness of facts)

STRESS METABOLIZING PRACTICES (grounding, centering, connecting)

Seven facts

GRAVITY    (attraction at any distance)
CENTER    (physics of mass, of physical being in motion)
CONNECTION    (wholeness, relatedness, I-I)
EFFORTLESSNESS   (flow happens everywhere, all the time)
TRANSFORMATION    (impermanence, emergence)
PRESENT MOMENT    (the only moment of being)
PRECISION

CARE

Breath

Vertical

Care

Connection

Always turning toward

–this is presence,

the only place to start from.

Will (choice) to SEPARATENESS!?

What historical perception fears connection?

What stance

Prevents the felt experience of

Sameness?

What history am I physically holding on to that precludes acceptance and sameness?

What does this holding, turning against, turning away feel like?

Find the sensation and turn toward it.

Practice sensing and turning toward, period.

That is the practice of sameness.

Help others to have enough personal choice

in order that they

May help themselves and others to have good lives

—————-

Mood–gratitude, acceptance, curiosity, playfulness, ambition

Mind–attention to care

Body–relaxed, aware, vertical, connected

in total–blending

Horizontal force

or

Flowing presence

Both chosen and perfected through practice

I thought “it” was the point.

How funny!

with

This encompasses everything so far.

With

I – I

With

.

No incline
–leaning is horizontal & is dragging the past violently across the only moment

Turn, arc, spiral around center
–vertical and present in the only moment, precisely

It is always happening

The felt experience is the practice.

The enticing way of being
Nonviolent

To

Holding on to nothing

Practice
paying attention
to
Compression

Simply
Get a feeling for it
For connection with earth
First

Get big.

My attention must be larger than

my concerns and larger than

each of the others concerns and cares.

Movement occurs inside an envelope that includes all the cares in the “room”,

all the movements in the room.

This is essential, fundamental, in order to not be a bull in a china shop

moving blind to ones surroundings because you do not understand the contexts and situations of all concerned.

This encompassing position is calming and centering–knowing that you are not a bull in a china shop.

Clairity of purpose (care and line)
Is essential for Connection

Practice with the bokken.

Move at the speed of connection

Any thing faster lacks integrity
Produces fear and disharmony

Anything faster is instrumental
“I-It”

Connect to
Understand the other’s situation
You cannot blend otherwise

I–I

Play with it
Become exquisitely aware of the sensations of
The transition moments
The reaction
The relaxation

The edges of heaven and hell
Peace and war
Harmony and discord
Play and fear
Joy and dispair

Master level akido?

I-I with fearsome people?

Get as big as their fearsome world

Include my world

Non- collision

Curiosity

Help them if I can

Without giving up my integrity

Move toward a creative space

Attachment and fear
Or
Care and playfulness

Curiosity, learning, exploring
The “other’s” world.

Playfully looking for shared care
Connection at the edge

Through extension
and turning toward

Turning against
Turning away
Lose safety, lose integrity

Personal physical integrity
Through flow

–grounded, centered, flexible, extended, connected (“vertical”)
Movement

From care to care

I-I

Safety

Notice:

Centrality

–is my care central to this moment?

Connection

–is my care connected with this moment?

Action (blending)

–is my care determining my precise line and my movement in this moment?

Noticing

First

Always

History of balancing fear with agression

History of balancing aggression with withdrawal

Both can be replaced with the third way

Turning toward–

Acceptance as presence, not acquiescence

With gratitude

Notice my turning
Away

Notice the sensations of my
Holding

Notice my turning
Against

Notice the sensations of my
Holding

Turn toward the sensations
and notice

This is my practice

Per Bob Duhnam:

Nietzsche, an important philosopher of the continental and existential traditions, saw power as the capacity for creation, which often requires the capacity for destruction as well. In order to be someone who can tolerate and produce both creation and destruction, he said we have to overcome “the spirit of heaviness” that binds us to existing ways of being, that keep us unwilling to alter ourselves and leap into possibilities.

He portrays power with three images. Heaviness is portrayed by two images of power, the image of the beast of burden illustrated by the camel, and the image of the beast of prey illustrated by the lion. The camel is characterized by its resistance, its ability to carry others on its back, and its capacity to absorb adversity. We all need the power of the camel at certain times. The lion represents one who rebels, who asserts its own power in the face of others, and who declares the inviolability of its territory. We must also be lions at certain times.

The third image is the image of the child, who illustrates the power of the innocence of play, of the absence of heaviness. The child who builds castles in the sand, sees them destroyed by the waves, and then builds them again. To Neitzsche the power of the child, the power of play, is the superior form of power.
(This discussion is based on one in the book “The Ontology of Language” by Rafael Echeverria, available only in Spanish.)

The ground (and more)

Supports me

Without demands

I can let go of holding myself

Up

Back

Apart

Away

Against

Together

Onto

In control

And just play in the…

Moment

Place

Connecting…

To self

Other

Space

Flow

Mood

Not feeling is turning away

Period

Notice

The Incline

Notice the feeling of The Incline

Turn toward this feeling

and

Drop into gravity’s calm hand

What is supporting me?

What am I holding?
up
onto
in
back
away
against

Can I trust being supported?
each moment

Putting my whole self into the situation

Is often the best solution

Rather than trying to think or work my way out of the situation.

The practices for calming down and sensing the situations for maximum choice, freedom and connection

The practices for getting big, sensing and extending into, the situation and possibilities

The practices for moving forward with others, with the situation; turning toward, connecting, blending with what is happening, who is present, and toward a positive healthy shared future (always aware of my choices of turning away or against same people, possibilities, and future)

The antidote (replacement practices) for (the practices of) anxiety, narrowness, and awkwardness, aggression, or retreat.

Sensing

BEFORE/WITHOUT/ALONG SIDE

Words
Thoughts
Will power

Of

Extension
and
Connection

So

Practice the basics
Compression, Sinking, Balance, Breath, Supple Spine, Extension, Connection

Under my feet

Life is practice

The variable is
Awareness

Exaggeration is pushing against
Minimization is turning away

Aikido:

The WAY

(practice)

of

FREEDOM

(peace, attention, extension, choice, flow…)

AND

(union of)

SOLIDARITY

(compression, presence, extension , connection, harmony, love, I-Thou, I-I, blending)

Pay attention to what is sensed,

listen to the whisper, the murmur,

respect the whiff,

the slightest breeze,

the portent

Respond to that knowing

for me to be aware of my intention?

Lower the level of feedback

the level of dissonance

needed for awareness of intention

Lower it to the point that it does not add stress to me or others

Below the crisis point.

Use curiosity rather than chaos, pain or force to be aware of my intention,

my inclination.

Be curious, moment to moment, of my inclination.

What am I turning against, away from, toward?

is not connection;

is off balance.

Connect with maximum freedom on all sides

Protecting the weak,

Putting down, dismissing, the strong,

Indirection and calculation,

These ways of being are not essential. They are adopted from others who were not moving from curiosity. Nurture, like a loving parent, these misshapen children. Listen to them, protect them, converse with them, always moving from wholeness, from the deepest form of curiosity, which is power enough. They are now my life long companions, they are not who I am. Turn toward them, keep them in sight, be gentle with them, be curious about their activity. What is going on? Who are you? Who am I? What is your care? What is my care?

A waiting room

A private space

To withdraw into

Out of “sight”

A place to analyze, calculate, arrange for …

For WHAT?

As John Lennon said,

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”

You know!

Don’t blame or make excuses.

Staying with

what is authentic

True play.

You can stay connected.

Touching

(Extension required)

Facing

Truth

Squarely

What is unfolding

Not turning away or against, even a little

Touching

Everything is best processed through this body’s full experiencing

rather than only

My memory and dreams

Fear

and its big brother panic

Blind

–the ultimate lack of focus

–diffusion of capacity

–losing touch

There is little value in blinding one’s self

Choose presence

–drop back into this moment, this place, this grounded centered body

–moving center, moving from center

–extend and connect

–everything follows to the best possible outcome

One

Flexible

Vertical extension

from center

from ground

Head extended

Facing

INTENT to push or withhold

Leaning against

Pulling away

Not a matter of degree

rather

A CHOICE

Touch

Center to center

From extension to extension

Moving together, playfully

Imagine a work place where there was no violence

Only touching from one’s caring to another’s caring

Violence in the name of speed and efficiency

is demoralizing and disengaging

diminishing hope

precluding creativity, innovation

A recipe

for a static bureaucracy

(in no order, all together, as one way of being)

Center

(instant intuition–sensing, knowing, pre-verbal, global)

Intention

(gratitude and respect, openness and curiosity-true play, touching, non-collisional)

Attention

(inclusive, not brittle & narrowly focused)

Gravity

(falling/flowing into motion from center, with gravity)

Extension from ground

(in 3D with knees, hips, and spine)

Breathing

(giving to and receiving from)

Accepting self

(with gratitude and respect)

Accepting what is unfolding

(with gratitude and respect)

Move at the speed of relationship

Your speed of
Turning toward
Extending
And staying connected

From obsession

Thoughts spinning
Disconnected from
The moment
Others
Body
Earth

Present
Here
Now
Connected with
This ground
These feet
This body
These others, in front of me

Center

A relaxed abdomen
Is the embodiment of parasympathetic rest state

A fearful and excited mind
Is the embodied source of adrenergic fight or flight

Practice sensing, turning and moving from
A relaxed abdomen

From center
Through heart
To head

Not
The reverse!

Three responses
Turn toward, Opening, Touching
Turn away, Closing, Withdrawing
Turn against, Pushing, Violence

Blending is connecting with one’s own care and with another’s care by turning toward, opening, and touching
Relaxed
From grounded center
On a chosen line
With the others chosen line
To a peaceful and surprising present moment
Together

I have discovered that I have a static or at least staccato approach to living. Fluid movement is not my way of being in the world–to date.

I am beginning to practice moving

My center (how uncharacteristic)

My feet, following center

My arms and head, extending from center.

Practicing belly breathing to acquaint myself with my neglected center.

Excitement and or fear are my most common responses to change.

My professional life has been a protracted attempt to master my appearance–hiding, managing, controlling my fight or flight response; holding it in check and performing “as though” I am not in an adrenaline driven state.

Living in a control game with fear is reflected into all of my interactions. It generates tension and fear in others, and it is especially problematic for my teammates and for the people who report to me.

What if there was another way, a way to actually choose a non-adrenergic response? Is it possible that there is a peaceful (non-threatened) playful (play is not possible in a state of fear) flowing way of being with change and uncertainty?

Threat or Curiosity? Fearfulness or Playfulness?

It has become clear to me that there is such a choice–a choice always being made. The interesting thing is that the choice requires a movement from being in my head, where I analyze and interpret things as threatening (or not), to being in my body as I move in the moment in the physical world with many fewer threats than my head produces. This physical world in the present moment is dominated by some quite forces –gravity (a kind of attraction or love story between masses, one of which is me), balance (a dance between quite forces), breath (the steady rhythm of my life which reflects everything else) and extension (the physical intention to reach out and connect). Working with these quite forces requires only practice. None of these quite forces require words, in fact, words get in the way, unless the words flow from them.

It is the quietness of these forces that has worked against their use. Fear screams. Gravity, well… it is always there holding things together, like a good parent.

So, I cannot report that I have conquered fear (that approach would just exacerbate the problem), just that I finally have an alternative, and that the alternative is a set of simple practices, and I have found a community of people working with the same practices.

What have the early effects been? A much less hectic and stressed family life. An awareness of what is driving my feelings and reactions at work. The ability to be calmer and more of a team member at work.

Stress and fear just don’t add much that is useful to my life and my work. My journey continues. I am very optimistic. Those around me have commented that things are very different with me and them. I have a place and a way to practice true play–living in the moment with  joy.

Become familiar with the moment, the feeling
of Abandoning

Turn toward the feeling of abandoning:
-Connection
-Balance
-Center
-Presence

In the futile quest for control, certainty, perfection
(All joyless, playless moves)
I routeinly abandon the engaged moment
For an abstract,thoughtful, private, “safe” retreat from–

How very awkward and unrewarding

Choose
Connection, uncertainty, creativity, play, joy

Early

Often

Sense from center–self and others in the present moment

From the ground

Practice
as often as possible

Only

From ground

From center

Through extension

From and to my concerns and care

To and from the others concerns and care

Together

Very attentively, very present,
on this ground,
in this place,
with this body,
on this line

Connected precisely with
that specific person,
on that specific ground,
in that specific place,
in that body,
on that line,
with those concerns,
with that past and that hoped for future,
in this moment

Only playfully

Together–Precise Play, Playing Precisely

Moving from center?

Practice opening doors from center

Practice stepping and then walking from center

Perfection is not playful

It is wrought in private places

It is a magician’s act of deception (of self and a few uninitiated others)

Play is destroyed by knowing, planning, technique or effort.

Play is not perfect (except in spirit)

It is open (exposed)

It flows from physical gratitude into respect and connection

Gratitude for the attraction between us and the earth

Gratitude for the certainty of center (hara)

Gratitude for the possibility of suppleness and extension

Respect for ones past and future

Respect for the possibilities of now–this moment, the only moment

Connection with self and all of self’s contradictions

Connection with this space,

particularly this ground, through balance;

and this space through extension

And connection with the other(s)

Playfully, with no inclination toward perfection

Requires attention
Is pretty easy

Changing intention (arising from from a “hidden” incline) is more difficult

Changing behavior (muscles & bones, feelings, thoughts) is even more difficult

All are levers, doors, openings for learning and change.

The incline is the farthest up stream,
with the least attachment and momentum to deal with

I can “feel” the incline
My momentary inclination
Toward
Away or against

This critical information is easily available to me.
It is the root, the well spring
Of what is going to happen

A little attention to my incline
Changes everything

A true nonlinear effect
Real leverage in my journey back to
True play

Extension

Vertical

Big

Clear

With

———

From simplicity and safety

Toward connection

Only occurs when vertical

Moving with
Self &
Others

Exists only when inclined toward
Self
Others

Human interest only exists when inclined toward
Self
Others

Develop a bias against violence
Lean away from self violence
Lean toward presence and connection
With self and others

My precise state of
Slope
Tilt
Leaning
Bias.
The pre-intention
From which the intention originates
Which leads through intention to the action of
Turning
Toward
Away or Against

Inclination to protect self or to connect with self and others
Isolation or I-I

Turn toward the inclination
Observe that

Is only staying connected, touching
Throughout the entire waza
There is no plan to fall
No “correct” technique
Technique is not aikido, is not present
Aikido is present practice of connecting and blending

Aikido is extending and balance
Throughout

Over reaction.
Fearing X I exhibit -X.

There is another way:
Present with what is happening
Including fearing X
And simply being present with what is unfolding
Not defending
Not correcting nor over correcting in order
To be in the RIGHT place.
All of this unnecessary effort puts one off balance
Out of touch

The practice is:
Accepting connection
as a practice of neutral observation.

One week of a two week vacation.

Sleep.

Daily breathing practice.

Relieves Horizontal reacting. (Reliving my past, projecting past onto an uncertain future.)

Supports Vertical. (Present in this place, in this body, with these specific people, now.)

Shame

Blinding shame

Fight or flight

Or…

Stay with it, turn toward it, let it dissolve itself through insight

Ever how slowly and non-violently

“Problem solving”

Effort
or
Acceptance, Openness, Curiosity, Playfulness

Violence against
or
Conversations with

That is True Play

Based on a Vertical orientation

Replace the HORIZONTAL
–time and energy devoted looking toward fear, self protection-destruction

with

Intention and attention to VERTICAL
–gravity, balance, breathing, and supple spine

I am literally being consumed by my ATTENTION to the Horizontal.
I NOW COMMIT to changing my allegiance (what I actually do with my time) from my history and fears to the simple PRACTICE of Vertical.

Turning away

Turning against

Feel the ground

Balance

Breath

Supple spine

Nothing else is necessary

The rest will take care of itself without effort or violence

Thoughts will flow

Resolutions and dissolution will occur

That’s what happens

The Horizontal relationship to fear is
2D,
time constrained (worried about the future, based on accumulated fears from the past) and
of limited choice

The Vertical relationship to True Play is
3D,
timeless (in the present moment–the only time that exists) and
choice full

(Marc, you can turn your hips, bend your knees, fall, roll–really. Practice)

That’s the choice!

Allegiance to

–the present or the past?

Allegiance to

–Touching / Connection or Withdrawal / Violence?

Allegiance to

–Practice or Pain

Which way is intention turning (before the body turns)

Away from self

Against self

Toward self

—–

Away from other

Against other

Toward other

—-

Away from, Against, or Toward

–Gravity

–Balance (in 3 dimensions),

–Breath (in the belly),

–Supple spine (openness)

–Extension (line, true strength, precision, the precursor of connection),

Withdrawal, Pushing Against

or

Extension, touching, blending

From center

Breathing

Extend

On a Precise Line

Toward

(not Against nor Away, not self Protecting-Defeating) (compression-center-breath)

Connect, Blend, Flow

With

Self imposed:

Trying to perform

For whom?

Noticing the awkwardness

Turn toward it. Feel the rules and violence behind stiffness and imbalance

Pain points to old rules, old quarrels

Accepting the old antagonists

Letting the body relax, letting the rule relax

Participate

History: Startle, withdraw, plan, … From anxiety with intellect.

Practice: Notice, accept, sense and respond center to center, I – I, with playfulness.

Even noticing the startle chain reaction, playfully.

Turning toward,

Is the only creative way,

Forward

Expand self

To include,

Let, allow.

Say “yes”.

To Awareness

To Flow

Is not violence to self

Is not turning my back on, is not pushing away

Is not performing to an autocrat’s memory

Is of gratitude and respect

Touching

For the first time

(while blindfolded)

I was able to feel myself move from center

And have my feet support that movement

Nice!

Now I know what it feels like!

Connecting with another

from hara, as best I can

while

Connecting with embodied confusion.

Turning from hara toward the felt embodied confusion

Turning from hara toward ground

Turning from confusion toward hara

Not turning away from nor against…

Embracing the whole

Staying with it

Noticing

Not hurrying, scurrying, running, trying…

Dropping all effort for simple curiosity

Embodied learning prevented by my sighted brain.

Blindfolded

Like a race horse in a fire

Able to practice with bokken

Facing, being with, connecting

Accepting the whole swirling with gratitude

Not punishing (aggression)

Not holding away (withdrawing, as passive aggression)

Allowing the space and time for metamorphosis

In the victim

As well as in the perpetrator,

Who, of course, was someone else’s victim.

End the cycle.

End the progression.

No complaint

Pure gratitude

It just happened

How pleasant.

The reality of the I-I.

Acceptance of others

Acceptance of self

Inextricably tied.

Actually

Just faces of the same way of being.

Alienation is simply alienation.

In the end, I cannot really treat others and self differently.

So accept and connect,

Period

If you don’t know precisely what you are doing

Others cannot possibly blend with you

Clarity is necessary

for connection

Ground–Compression

Center–Breathing Sensing

Balance–Supple Spine

Extension–Connecting Touching

Reconnect through: ground, center, balance, extension

Without turning away or turning against.

Moving out of harms way

AND

Staying connected.

Turning

Away?

Against?

Toward?

In each moment, with each person

Which is it?

Extension

&

Connection

Connecting.

Shared care.

Calming.

Stories of me, us, & now

Is that really necessary?

Accept one’s self

Accept others through extension to sameness

Embrace the sacred earth, air, body–move as one

Move with extension directly into purpose and care

With another’s purpose and care

Playfully

I-I

Sameness

In motion

Flowing, Never pushing, Never pulling

Resonance

Two as one

Many as one

Together

Protecting.

From what?

Separating, isolating

Impossible!

Breath, relax, extend into

The true I-I.

Into true sameness.

Acceptance, of self.

That is the key move.
Then,

To practice.

Connection

Non-collision

Dancing

I dropped it

Two weeks ago

Caffeine is for thinking more

I am practicing being more from center

More connected

My thoughs are better when arising from center

From connection

Caffeine does not help

I have not missed it.

Embodied,

Not forced

Not thought.

Is my work really mental, in my head?

Isn’t insight embodied, felt, experienced

Rather than something  Controlled

and Done from my head?

Isn’t most learning done with others

In a state of blending, connection, listening

Not THINKING or DOING?

What have I been thinking/doing all of these years?

I have become very aware of the tension in my shoulders, back, and chest. I can let it go, each time.
I now understand that this reaction makes no sense, is the source of unhappiness, in some way it is actually the unhappiness itself.
I get nothing at all from this practice! It makes everything worse.
Let it go.

It is my holding on to my past (even its repression) which shows up as tension.
How truly bizarre.

To escape what?

Being perfect?

No visible mistakes, top of the class
leads to hiding & disconnection,
self punishment,
ultimately some kind of annihilation.

Perfect being?

Supported
by care,
by gravity,
by the environment,
by breathing,
by others

If my intention and actions are not playful, then what are they?

Hurried?
Forceful?
Pushy?
Anxious?
Disconnected?
Frightening?

Isn’t TRUE PLAY the best way to

experience the world,
get things done,
connect with others?

History : Startle, withdraw, plan, … From anxiety with intellect.

Practice : Notice, accept, sense and respond center to center, I – I, with playfulness.

Even noticing the startle chain reaction, playfully.

Move at a cadence of connection. Nothing generative happens when you move faster. That is pushing, pulling, or holding.

Novices move at a slower cadence. ( That would be me!)

Accept this. It is a big part of blending. It must be safe enough for playful learning.

Vertical–present with, connected, timeless, unfolding

Horizontal–anticipating through fear and worry (history), with tension, control, avoidance

To some extent I have used anxiety and tension to get myself to prioritize and act. I create a dam of resistance and avoidance which backs up enough anxiety and self loathing to break through into a flood of “productive” action.

I perfected this in college, cramming for finals in some courses. The tension made it “easy” to finally engage. In the courses that were interesting, I did connect and flow and generally had no work to do for the final exam.

This pattern is pretty much the opposite of acceptance and flow. I have used self generated fear to drive myself. This method must have effects on everything and everyone around me. It is very much a form of disconnection, withdrawing, and then pushing.

And from You (Other) to You (Center) to You (Ground)

Extension. True play. Joy.

Holding on and holding back = Fear

Flow with safety and integrity = True play = Joy

Attention, as big as what you care about. Includes what you connect with.

For the sake of connection, being with, being part of, “sameness”.

From Center.

Includes others as “sameness”. Truly, what they are attending to, what they are planning, when they begin to move, how they are moving.

Includes lines, ground, tempo, — all sensed through center, precisely.

Holding breath is off center and fearful. Prevents extension and flow.

Breath into belly, supports center.

Exhale from belly, supports extension and flow.

Sensing from the head and chest. Rising up? Against? Or in defense?

Sensing from center.

Recognizing connection.

Falling with gravity, with the flow of the situation, beside the other person’s line, precisely

Turing around center.

Staying connected.

Gravity, connection, & motion => Flow

One hundred times from my head–dissonance.

One time from center, connected–simply beautiful.

Practice.

Practice awareness from center, with heart and head in tune.

When charged, what happens?

Practice
awareness, breathing,
awareness, tensions,
awareness, breathing,
awareness, acceptance,
awareness, breathing,
awareness, relaxation,
awareness, breathing,
awareness, supple spine,
awareness, breathing,
awareness, extension,
awareness, breathing, connection, breathing, flow;
again and again a hundred times a day.

Awareness is presence, the rest is practice.

Breathing is core to awareness, acceptance and practice.

Find the small fearful "self" and come out the back side into the whole, including, not excluding, the small fearful nodule which is then experienced NOT TO BE SELF but an impostor of sorts–a dark magician.

Acceptance of the small nodule of fear, with gratitude that it is so small. Extend around it, back into the playful space with others.

Get as big as the moment, the situation, the environment, my reactions, your reactions, your care, my care, our care.

Accept all with gratitude, through center, through breath, through supple spine, through extension, in fact this is extension, this whole thing is extension, extending.

Play in this whole space in this moment.

There is a real world.

One moves in this world.

One experiences this world.

Then one reacts. (one can react before experience).

The reactions are either acceptance/staying/flowing/connecting/and perhaps blending

…or fearful aggression or fearful withdrawal–pushing or pulling.

The acceptance staying from center/flowing/blending are present, "physical", coherent; generally "playful" and enjoyable.

The fearful choice is non-present, non-staying, non-flowing, non-blending, abstract, and incoherent; generally awkward and painful.

That is a heck of a choice.

Heart to head I get.

Head to heart I get.

Heart to center (hara)?

Clueless!

…Maybe that was open ocean sailing?

Emotion that connected with the ocean and the night sky’s peek into the cosmos, with felt rather than thought implications and meaning?

In a world of pushing, holding and withdrawing, what is the middle way? What is the practice of acceptance and blending?

If not pushing, if not holding, if not withdrawing, then what?

There must be a non-collision course, a subtle move out of harm’s way, and a continuing connection that is not pushing, holding, or withdrawing–that is flowing with the other’s energy and momentum. Experiencing the other as same, as connected oneness

To do this one must remain grounded, without fear and attachment. This comes from a larger space than heart and mind. It can only come from oneness, sameness, "compassion" which is not empathy, rather universality, wholeness, total lack of narrowness.

Not pushing, not pulling, not trying to dominate nor avoid. Knowing one another’s cares and moving with them, not against, not away from, but together. Connecting and reconnecting.

Moment to moment, presently, without language, sense from center, stay with center, come back again and again to center. Connect to center from center. Over and over.

Fear has a way of puffing itself up.

This slight of hand is given it’s power when we loose track of the small, simple starting point. Some small past pain gains the upper hand when we wish to avoid a reoccurance in the future AND we loose track of the total felt sense of that initial psychic "injury"–often just a discomfort.

The untethered event becomes a fear which then commands life and death emotions and reactions, really disturbing our lives. Disconnecting us from life. Fear is disconnection. It lives in the horizontal, dispersed way of being.

A useful practice: Find the small original kernel, stay with it, reacquaint. Let it return to the size of an event. That is much better, almost laughable. Nearly enjoyable. Certainly a relief!

Fear or Joy

Fear: Autonomic nervous system for fight (push back) or flight (pull away). Fear–narrow focus, tense muscles; unable to "fall" where needed with no delay.

Joy: Parasympathetic nervous system for staying where you are, connecting, relaxation, rejuvenation, adaptation, growth, change. Joy–broad open focus, relaxed body, able to stay with whatever arises

Each is a practice. In the beginning a set of practices.

This is a big one. I will not say much here, yet.

It is Sensei Bert Bennett’s whole view.

It shows up as joyful, engaged, flowing, physically dynamic learning.

It is this felt sense of true playfulness which is so attractive and enticing about this dojo.

The moments of connection, the learning in these moments.

Bert Bennett has an embodied way of being he refers to as vertical (as distinct from horizontal).

The more I explore this, the more wisdom I discover.

Embodied connection with gravity (and environs–grounding, extension, flow), feeling (in the chest, empathy, fear, care,…), and cognition (thinking, language, narrative, stories believed-lived-told). These three anatomically stacked ways of being in the world are at their best when all in play and given primacy from the ground up.

A fundamental practice.

Awareness combined with staying/accepting (not pushing, not withdrawing) is the basis of being and learning and unfolding toward what is most attractive, most integrated.

I am becoming much more aware of the reactions and tensions in my body. This awareness allows me to return to my practice of breathing, extending, and supple spine.

How to blend!

A line, is a person’s present, committed path, to take care of something…

To avoid collision, to blend, to co-create, to move together one must sense the other’s chosen line.

One must choose and commit to one’s own line, and then move together, blending, flowing, connected, thus staying out of harm’s way and helping the other on their path.

Everything on this site comes from my interaction with Sensei Bert Bennett. I am just documenting my own unfolding understanding.

That which does not flow from vertical integration. Reactive, threatened, anxious, analytical, disconnected.

Trying to change, well it just makes things…

Accepting lovingly the felt experience of an awkward and unfulfilling practice, emotion, habit, reaction…

This is the only way. Pushing or pulling on some "unwanted" aspect of oneself gives more life to that.

Accepting the whole of the unfolding, horizontal practice, its source, its physical manifestation, its felt sense, AND DOING NOTHING about it, just being with it, connecting with it is the way. Things integrate and loose power or gain power from this way of being.

In my case: relax my belly in place of tensely holding it in and therefore holding my chest out–my current practices of unneeded tenseness. Oh, and allow my knees to bend, therefore allowing my waist to stay flexible rather than flexed. An unintended and unflowing consequences of tenseness.

Be clear and committed to  what you care about.

Connect to that care.

Stay with that care.

It has an awareness from center, through the other, through the ground.

This connection, its attractiveness, is the source of everything that needs to happen. From this connection, when I stay with it, something real and wonderful unfolds without effort or technique.

By the way, standing to the side, watching, thinking, judging, planning–these practices are not the practice of connecting.

Balance is the manifestation of grounded care.

Flow originates in care.

Connection is shared care.

Lacks of care is, careless, awkward, chaotic.

An attractive  future unfolds from present shared care.

I alternate between hiding and participating.

The practice is to know what my care is and move from there, connect from there, stay with it, gently return to it, again and again.

Straining (pushing and pulling) is not caring. It is avoiding care.

Trust arises in connection.

Grounded trust integrates embodied authenticity and its consequence, felt sincerity, with improvisational wisdom. When these occur together trust is worthy.

There is always some limit, some boundary, some separation that I choose–to protect me from… what?

"Sameness" is an innovation beyond Buber. It is the experience of being Sensi’s "you-you".

It is true connection.

Start only when connected.
Move at a pace to stay connected.

Connecting with another is… well it is the human thing.

Connecting with gravity, balancing, staying on a line, staying with gravity, to the end.

When connected, the movements unfold without technique, without thinking, without emotion.

Connection is the foundation of flow.

And flow feels good to everyone involved.

Anxiety results in poor timing. Moving too soon or too late. Moving in the wrong direction.

Breathing before I need to is connected to moving before needed.

Holding my breath is connected to moving too late.

Breathing before necessary comes from my chest.

Breathing when necessary comes from my abdomen.

There is real connection in the world.

There is a self imposed attempt to limit this connection.

It is a kind of fighting against reality in an attempt to protect something or the other from something or the other.

This movable, self imposed boundary is a big deal. Fortunately this "false" boundary setting and its origins are susceptible to Aikido practices, starting with awareness and then a gentle acceptance and curiosity.

The larger the space of sameness, oneness, non-otherness, the more flow that can occur.

Self selected alienation is another word for this boundary. Sounds inviting?

People do flourish when their experienced ratio of positive affect to negative affect is 4 to 1 or more.

One does not have to change others or the world to change one’s own affective experience. One can develop personal practices of acceptance which shift from fear into joy and true play.

Sure!

It is not an act of will or power over.

It is the simplest of things.

Breathing from below the diaphragm.

Noticing what is going on, with tension,  with my muscles, with what is being held or contained or avoided.

Noticing my physical relation to the floor (balance)

Noticing how I am connecting with whatever is going one around me.

That is it. Seems simple enough. It is. It seems to be the main or foundational practice of Aikido.

The marshal art techniques are based upon this.

Assigning negative labels and then attacking one’s own unloved behaviors–my normal approach–is perfectly counter productive.

A different and simpler way is to accept it, stay with it, see what it does when felt but not threatened. Surprisingly, something nice and playful happens.

The power of the habitual reaction lessens, without effort; precisely because there is no effort, only openness and attention.

Another aikido surprise.

Embodied mind! What a surprise!

What I practice with my body profoundly influences where my mind goes.

I would not have believed it.

Playfulness vs. apprehension; joy vs. fear–I now see that these are binary choices. The choice is to practice one or the other. The intensity of our reaction or experience can be placed on a continuum. The practice we embody in this moment is either/or.

How wonderful.

Joy or fear is a personal choice of practice, not a passive reaction to the vageries of the world.

The practices are as different as vertical and horizontal.

The edge = the precise line where I separate self from ..myself.

The precise line where I begin pushing or pulling away

Where Martin Buber’s wonderful invention Ich-du (I-thou) now and more profoundly becomes I-I.

Where pushing, pulling,and avoiding become accepting and being with, sameness, unity.

I might as well have a conscious awareness of the practice.

Stay with whatever comes up.
From "vertical", an inclusive, connected, movable place of choice.
Stay with fear, from "vertical", while fear exposes itself and transforms, without effort.

Effort only serves to amplify or harden fear.

Calm down = Breath (deep diaphragmatic breathing practice)
Get big = Extend
Move forward = Play (5Ps)