Marc's Reflection on Aikido & True Play

Entries from November 2011

Danger in Connection

November 30th, 2011 · No Comments

My parents lived isolated I-It lives.
As did their parents.
I believed it was too dangerous to connect.
I choose an independent life, a life of proximity.
Sensing a true connection to be too dangerous.


Today’s gratitude and awe.

November 27th, 2011 · No Comments

I am grateful for a day of rest and reflection in the company of Lola, Sofia, and Isabella.
I am grateful for a warm house on a windy rainy northwest winter day.
I am grateful Bill and Judy.

I am awed by the power of science to unfold things.

I am serene whenever I connect with the present moment.

I am close to Sofia and Lola today.

I am hopeful that communities can transform themselves and that RWJF and Rippel Foundation will help make sense of community transformation.

I am joyful when I connect with Lola and Sofia.

I am amused by my own foibles.

I am inspired by Martin Seligman, Barbara Fredrickson, and Jane McGonigal.

I am interested videography as sense making and story telling.

I am proud of our work on personal health records and care coordination tools.



November 27th, 2011 · No Comments

Respectful (shared care) CONNECTION (turning toward/moving with) as embodied, emotional, mindful spirit:

Body => CONNECTION of CARES, with effortless precision, through compression/gravity and center, in the present moment, transforming.

Emotion/Mood => CONNECTION as positive relationship, meaning/CARE, engagement/flow, gratitude, love, awe, hope, inspiration, interest, joy.

Mind/Language => Commitment as CONNECTION through shared CARE.


Mindfulness or Bodyfulness?

November 19th, 2011 · No Comments

How would bodyfulness research be conducted?
What are the theories to be tested?



November 19th, 2011 · No Comments

Is syncinicity.
Is knowing/moving through sensing.

My head is informed later. My thoughts are much too slow for participation and therefore too slow for connection and care.

This is fascinating and of profound significance to my life.


Gravity is Present

November 19th, 2011 · No Comments

The experience of gravity (Compression) is the experience of Presence.
Sensing compression opens me to the experience of present moment
and The Present Moment’s other facts:
Transformation and



November 19th, 2011 · No Comments

is not analysis!



November 19th, 2011 · No Comments

I am grateful for a cold clear Bellingham Saturday.
I am grateful for Isabella’s determination, Sofia’s sensitivity, and Lola’s unbridaled enthusiasm.
I am grateful Richard and Helen.

I am awed by the atmosphere and weather.

I am serene simply by tuning in to my generative relationship with gravity.

I am close to Goran.

I am hopeful applied positive psychology will transform myself, my family, my organization, my community.

I am joyful today. A smile hiding just under my skin.

I am amused by Lola’s antics.

I am inspired by Martin Seligman.

I am interested in my work.

I am proud of my daughters and Nik, Brady, Kris, Lori and Jeannine.


3Gs +

November 16th, 2011 · No Comments

I am grateful for my family, friends and colleagues islacabbbrclnllakpbnpajjccp.
I am grateful for opportunities to make a difference in my community.
I am grateful to be here.

I am awed by the ocean, the night sky, and the cosmos.

I am occasionally serene when walking, when meditating, when connection with another at the dojo.

I am close to Lola, Sofia, and Isabella.

I am hopeful that WAHA will lead toward the Tripple Aim for health in Whatcom County.

I am joyful occasionally at the dojo.

I am amused by my mistakes and misperseptions. Also by humor in books and on-line.

I am inspired by sencere people who are doing their best.

I am interested in my daughters’ daily lives, my work, and the future of games and health.

I am proud of Congral, HiNet, WAHA, the Friday Dojo group, the quality, OD staff and medical group at St. Joes Med Center.


Ten Spectra?

November 14th, 2011 · No Comments

Opportunities and Antidotes?

More thought needed here.

I am looking for paired perspectives and practices.
Extended, happy vs. small, hard, hateful
Big, grounded, relaxed vs. small, free floating, jerky
touching, trusting, caring vs. pushing, withdrawing
personal stories are future rather than backward focused
playful, togetherness, playful vs. alone, small, involuting
big (Thou-Thou) vs. small (I-It)
big (we) vs small (you against me)
big (future together) vs. small (you and me against me)
big vs. small
big vs. small


Effectiveness through Aikido

November 14th, 2011 · No Comments

Daily, event by event, awareness of blending:


  1. Very Small–Self as It (Anti-self, anti-play, no smiles, lock down, a prison, closed, hidden, afraid, small, rigid… Frustrating, Shame, Shoving, Fear of failure
  2. Small–Self as Thou (relief, release, open, accepting of self and personal history with others, turning toward self, gentle, grounded, movable…
  3. Big enough–Other as Thou (Safe, shared care, mobile …)
  4. Very Big Thou-Thou (Big curiosity…Love…Playful…)


  1. Crazy (Uptight, disconnected, small, blind…)
  2. Controlled anxiety (Oriented to place and time, narrow focus, short sighted, controlling, fear based…)
  3. Shaky attempts at presence (Big enough to be aware of anxiety, awkwardness, breath…)
  4. Available from center (Big enough to ground and extend intermittently and partially)
  5. Able to move with whom and what comes up in a safe way (Big enough, grounded enough, flexible enough for flow to occur naturally)


  1. Pushing away (Fear, control, anger, avoidance, unavailable from center, unable to move fluidly)
  2. Withdrawing (Fear, control, avoidance, unavailable from center, unable to move fluidly)
  3. Touching (Calm enough, trust, safety, shared care, curious, turning toward)
  4. Moving as one (Calm, safe, skilled at blending, “falling” into shared space)


  1. Bad for all involved (painful for all and goals not accomplished)
  2. Goals accomplished with some dysphoria for all (was able to control this situation but at a cost to all because I was not connected)
  3. Goals accomplished with some dysphoria for me (was able to control this situation but at a cost mostly to me because I was not connected)
  4. Goals accomplished with happiness (Connected, moving as one, accomplishing shared goals in a playful way—together in shared context)



November 13th, 2011 · No Comments

–Losing self and time in helping the other

without risking self-harm

with safety for both.

Getting emotionally close has always felt very unsafe.

I only recently learned of Aikido, peace and harmony way, a way of  connecting with anyone without risk of harm for either.

One must be trustworthy in order for others to be trusting and in their turn trustworthy.

Aikido requires some serious emotional maturity.

Maybe there are some practices that can be discovered.


Flow less ness

November 13th, 2011 · No Comments



November 13th, 2011 · No Comments

What does it feel like when I am unable to find or move from center?

Can I turn toward that?

Is this the ghost who says, don’t dance, don’t trust your feet, don’t trust…

Is this the ghost who says, think first, calculate, protect yourself, don’t look silly, know the answer…

This ghost feels like me. Getting this genie back into the bottle seems daunting…

I can take intellectual and physical risks but not emotional risks!

I simply don’t trust…

I construct my life to require the least trust…


That is I-It.

Is there safety in I-It?

Is that style of safety worth the price?

What is the price?

At the minimum, awkwardness and distance.

Loss of joy, playfulness, spontaneity, touch…

Loss of connection with my daughters.

Loss of effectiveness in community creativity.


Positivity without extension or connection

November 9th, 2011 · No Comments

The positive emotions that I excel at are those I can do alone, without extension or connection!
This is a useful insight. Growth is on the other side of this insight.


Monday @ the Dojo–Thouness

November 8th, 2011 · No Comments

PRACTICES for the week: ( Respect-Touch, Extend-space & care, Play, Smile, Thou-Blending, Effect?)

  1. Notice/Experience from shared center (Thou-Thou) in a large space, with physical respect.
  2. Settle. Inclusively, not as I-It.
  3. Move / flow (without thought or technique) in the shared care (nested care), together, helping the other.
  4. Notice effect.

Notes from the dojo:

  • Thou is bigger than my present and past selves, bigger than my body, bigger than the present threat or frustration; Thou is the universe and includes me (as Thou) and the other (as Thou). Thou is loving-extension.
  • Touch is connection without a hint of force or violence. The joy of connection is possible only when the small self is nurtured and one is able to  expand to Thou-Thou. Accept self, accept other.
  • Extension is smiling (aikido is impossible without extension, extension is impossible without respect, respect is impossible without the intention to help the other toward their care–Thouness.) Touch without extension (Thouness) is technique and a subtle form of violence or dishonesty (I-It).
  • Extension is living as Thou. Always bigger then the tempest. Present conflict is always moving in a bigger care, never upsetting that bigger care. Extend attention and intention beyond the tempest and conflict to mutual even universal care.
  • Play is extension. Play is Thouness. If I am not smiling from center, I am probably not extending nor playing.
  • Blending is intention and assistance to help the other. The way is to connect and be (with) the other as I-Thou.
  • Respect is attention to the others intention (line) with the desire to help them with their care, with zero violence (pushing or withdrawing). Respect is I-Thou (Thou-Thou).
  • From the openness of Thou-Thou, Sense the others intention , that is the beginning of respectfulness.
  • Technique is from the head to the body, degrades to chaos in three reps or less
  • Aikido (technique-less) is movement from the center–of the situation–in harmony with no force but rather with the strength of extension–Thouness
  • True strength is extension with precision (based upon shared care).



Opportunities Lost or Found

November 8th, 2011 · No Comments

Fun loving? Extension!

Joy? Extension!

Awe? Extension!

Gratitude? Extension!

Love, closeness, trust? Extension!

Serene, peaceful? Extension!

How am I choosing to act as though I am so small?