Marc's Reflection on Aikido & True Play

Joy and Sadness

January 21, 2013 · No Comments

Another Paradox Resolved (integrated).

Joy and Sadness.

My (never exposed to the light of day) theory-in-use has been that joy and sorrow/sadness are opposites and certainly not of the same stuff. I have been refusing joy because it would, in my life, necessarily have had to include saddness, necessarily because that is my lived reality. The assumed hidden rule has been if saddness is alive then joy cannot possibly (must not) be present (allowed) in the room. It dawned on Thursday that joy and happiness coexist, interpenetrating, in this my life. It immediately felt as a whole, natural, tensionless, effortless, rich and refined experience–joy-sorrow (“soy”?). Maybe the German language has a name for this form of affective experience.
What a relief! Smiling and crying, laughing with tears. Authentically. 🙂 ;-(

Sadness of/in joy. Joy of/in sadness. No separation.


I now recognize that my joy vs sadness perspective felt like trying to hold two large magnets apart. And in noticing that they actually are just fine together the effort is gone. I am beginning to sense that I have similarly been holding lots of things apart that are actually quite happy together. I had imagined this as some kind of effortful “integrating”. Now I experience it as relaxing from the unwarranted effort applied to keep apart that which was one.

For me the applied effort has been huge, everyday every moment. Joy used to be a big part of my life and then…this way of being showed up!

The whole deal with opposites and paradoxes kind of dissolves. Unexpected. This effortlessness dissolving (reintegration) or just plain relaxing into the living of life is nice.


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