Marc's Reflection on Aikido & True Play

Idealism & Cynicism – Rediscovering our Idealism

September 28th, 2012 · No Comments

Notes and reflections on a conversation with Bert Bennett yesterday:

A work in progress….

IDEALISM, enthusiasm, exuberance, spontaneous, self-expression: Giving, Loving, “being” “in” love

CYNICISM, misunderstanding, rejection, judgement, self protection, pushing, withdrawing–Taking, Needing to get (take) love.

Youthful emotional pain -> Pained stories of past and future -> Adult pained bodies and awkward moves

Exuberance -> Misunderstanding

Giving -> Rejection

Connecting -> Pushing & Withdrawing

Aliveness -> Self-protection

Spontaneity -> Self regulating (controlling self-others through “fences”)

RECOVERING from cynicism–recovering our idealism through the act of loving self, world, other as it “is”, with no violence to self or other or the world.

Together we can develop adult practices of idealism, and get back to loving in this moment (the ultimate high):


The past and the future live in our narratives, in our stories, of necessity since there is no physical past or future at any moment. The past and the future are products of mind.

The every unfolding present moment has substance beyond the activities of mind; however, with enough cynicism we can find ourselves living predominantly inside the biological and emotional effects of our stories of  a remembered past and an imagined future rather than in the physically present moment.

The strongest innate human attractor may be joyful connection and self-expression with others. There are ways to participate with this possibility. That is what the Friday Dojo sessions are pointing toward.

We can come face to face with our  embodied and lived cynicism. We can turn openly and fully toward this, and get really familiar and even comfortable with it.

From this place of awareness and acceptance of what is, we can also

rest into:

  1. our sensation of compression,
  2. our sensation of center,
  3. our sensation of connection,
  4. our sensation of effortlessness,
  5. our sensation of transformation,
  6. our sensation of precision,
  7. our sensation of the present moment (place/body/mood/stories/  and the other six immutable facts)

Bert’s deconstruction of the concept of boundaries  into “Fences” and “Boundaries” is useful

When we are “vertical” and aware of our own boundaries, within which we are sovereign, and move within that sovereign “space” and way of being;

When we are aware of our “fences” which we have built and maintained to protect some injured spot (some story of pain and protection), we can develop a practice of relaxing “vertically”  (seven immutable facts) into our livable, safe, soverign boundary and move gracefully with others as they connect with us, however they show up.


Idealism–possbbilities, self expression (replaces self control and contraction), giving (replaces felt need to take)

Loving–Radiating (replaces collecting, accumulating)

Physically Present – Physical compression, shape of our breath (replaces being lost in our minds and moving awkwardly in the world)

Resting–Into living our lives with others (replaces protecting ourselves from others and from a punishing self)

Time stands still (expands)–The present moment is lived in (replaces living in our reactions to our narratives of past and future)