Marc's Reflection on Aikido & True Play


December 13, 2011 · No Comments

Wikis > Poise


Uncoupling perfection from success

Precision Poise – graceful elegant bearing (true perfection)
Is perfection defining your successes:
The conditioning occurring in our education system is one of continually measure for perfection and this focuses our attention on that one attribute. Eventually that one attribute becomes mistaken for what we think is our care story, or what is important, and this conditioning has many unhappy stressful endings.
  • Perfection is what we aim at when our actions are not anchored in our care story.
  • Perfection is what we do when we don’t know or are not acting on our care story.
  • Perfection and the way we’ve mastered aiming at it,  is a setup for a stressful struggle against imperfection.

Differentiating precision from perfection:

  • Precision is an immutable fact, perfection is something we layer onto the facts.
  • Precision is an I-Thou participatory experience, perfection is imposing I-It on experience.
  • Precision when embodied radiates flowingly through us, perfection is something we try to impose on ourselves.
  • Precision originates from our center, perfection originates from our heads.
  • Precision is how our care story enticingly and effortlessly unfolds, perfection is attempting to force outcomes.

Distinctions of Poise:

  • Poise is the embodied bearing of I-Thou precision.
  • Poise is the graceful and elegant bearing in a person. It is composure and dignity of manner.
  • Poise is how we align our care with what is emerging.
  • Poise is how we maintain space for possibilities to emerge.
  • Poise is our resilient graceful embracing organization that nurtures the surrounding environment.
  • Poise is reflected in our capacity to embrace and nurture all that is contained in the surrounding environment.
  • Poise is looking out for the best within the environment while managing personal integrity in that process.

Qualities of poise:

  • Poise is seeing and being what is bigger.
  • Poise naturally creates a larger radius.
  • Poise is intentionally inclusive and inviting.
  • Poise is the coherence of grounding, centering, opening moods and our care.
  • Poise is a restful state born from trust in one’s innate qualities that gives way to integrating and inviting balance.
Poise and our care: When we know our care story and when we are acting on it, then perfection holds little sway; as acting on our care is paramount and this is a reflection of our poise. A grounded and authentic care story is both healing and energizing for us to participate in and share. Nurturing our care into the world and helping it to unfold and thrive, is to participate in a space where new and bigger possibilities will emerge. Staying with your care’s thriving flow is a recipe for authentic success; as any way our care is born into the world is deeply gratifying. Precision emerges in our care when attention is focused on turning toward breakdowns. Breakdowns are always broadcasting from where flow is most inhibited. Going from a breakdown to a flowing innovation is a very precise affair.
How much are you influenced by the fiction that success and perfection go hand in hand?
Feel free to elaborate in detail:
1. How often do you invest in critical self talk about yourself and your performance, and how does this help you?
2. Do you feel pressured by your own perfection standards, if so, how is this enhancing your performance?
3. What is perfection to you? Does it have anything to do with knowing or being right? Does it have anything to do with being something you are not?
4. Do you hold yourself to standards that are difficult or imposable to maintain and/or achieve?
5. How do you define success and does it have anything to do with pleasing others?
6. How invested are you in doing everything you attempt –perfectly– and are you critical towards yourself when you cannot?
7. Do you allow yourself the space to take real risks where failure is a big possibility? If yes then name 3 recent failures?


8. How do you define when –you– are a success?
9. Do you positively embrace your less optimal outcomes as opportunities for growth and find pleasure learning from them? Do you want to? Are you committed to this practice? Where does your care story come into this practice?
The using the 3 recent failures list above, (or if you don’t have any, next time you fail at being perfect) ask yourself the following questions; What does failing like this mean about me?
What does that answer mean about me? (Keep asking until you hit bedrock. Try it, it’s a fun turning towards journalling practice!) BTW – if no answer comes up to the question, then ask, what does that mean about you, and so on?
Embodied Leadership Sessions – Enticing Transformations © 24


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